(This post is an entry to the The Great Indian Blogging Contest, as a part of the Apeejay Kolkata Literary Festival 2015.)

A remarkable research study has shown that India’s capacity to produce and consume oil and butter is one of the highest in the world and debunks all the suspicions about our indigenous capacity to produce both of these products.

‘Dr. Clerk’ who leads the research team involved, opined that Indians have been aware of this immense potential for the past 267 years but there has been no concrete documentation of the possibilities.

Dr. Clerk stated – “The usage of oil and butter in India depends completely on the size of the Chamcha involved.” He introduced his post-doctoral student and one of the research associates involved in this project, ‘Dr. Babu’, during the press conference to further elucidate the findings.

Dr. Babu explained that the most inherent instrument involved in their research was the study of  the functioning of the “Chamcha“. Chamcha is a colloquial term used in India to refer to a spoon and is an animated way to serve the right quantity of butter and oil to the right person, in the absolutely right circumstances.

Chamchas can be of different shapes and sizes.

The varied set of Chamchas 

Sometimes, one might need a really big one to serve huge dollops of butter and oil on the person being served. Dr. Babu mentions that he has seen an increased tendency in the masses to use this Chamcha for highly placed individuals ranging from ministers, politicians, high level Government officials, office Boss and of course the newly sprung celebrity. The supply and demand chain mentioned in Economic theory goes for a toss as more the merrier seems to be the mantra here.

The big Chamcha

Then there are good looking set of Chamchas who are charismatic in their presence and their finesse and beauty attracts enough attention. Their way of flattering with the butter is subtle and their presence is often found to be engaging in high profile (often page 3) dinners, dinners of official importance, in very sophisticated book reading or ghazal ceremonies. Dr. Babu mentions that often these ceremonies turn out to be a playground for the use of these articulate Chamchas as nobody has a clue about what is happening and the food and the butter served along with is the main attraction for most of the attendees.

The sophisticated Chamcha

And then there are the regular set of Chamchas found everywhere. Their use is not as unabashed as the big Chamcha or not as articulate as the sophisticated Chamcha and this is the reason that they do not know the exact amount of butter and oil to use and where.  The regular middle class Indians ranging from the middle rung Government officer to the IT sector employee waiting for an onsite opportunity use it for scooping out butter for anyone who promises a big promotion, a favourable real estate deal, a school admission for kids or a prized catch for a matrimonial alliance. Dr. Babu also mentioned that lack of innovation often plagues this set of Chamchas.

The mediocre Chamchas 

Dr. Clerk and Dr. Babu can throw more light on the mutual relationship between the use of Butter and the Chamchas and in case you are more interested to know more about their research, look around and observe 🙂

P.S. All the images used in this post are clicked by me and no unauthorised use is permitted 🙂

Thank you Apeejay Kolkata Literary Festival 2015, Kolkata Bloggers and The Great Indian for providing us this opportunity to think and express.