But she insisted. And I watched the movie. (needless to say everyone in the hostel had heard about it apart from me!)And I hated it. I was so bored that I stopped watching it half way. Come on! what’s wrong with the hi fundoo brains?? you need passion to lose a guy in 10 days. and real dedication too. ask me! but thanks anyways to the movie because it became an inspiration for me to write about the most revered feat on this planet- “How to lose a guy in 10 days- the Bongo woman way” :P1. If that guy doesn’t know anything about Tagore just burden him with everything tagore- ranging from Robindroshongeet to Gitanjoli to Shantiniketon and Boshontoutshob. In case he is a non bong this works wonders. In case he is the less privileged Bong (they dont want to show their lack of privilege or ogotya in front of the lady he is chasing) do that until he feels nauseated.
2. Ditto for all other poets ranging from Jibanananda to Srijato. DEMAND that he calls you Natorer Bonolota Sen and have to recite poetry in style.
3. Demand that Your man must have the smile of Uttam Kumar or Soumitro and need to have those perfect sexy eyes through which he communicates his unending love for you. And that includes writing poetry for which you are the inspiration.
4. Be that perfect poetry, but if he buys you books/flowers only for gifts throw a big tantrum. Gosh! you so much expected the new Dior watch or the Satya Paul sari.Plain and simple I love you doesn’t work. Make it clear that he needs to make it “special” in every other way. and the definition of “Special”- well, make it arbitrary in your own way. Eg.- while having Phuchka near Gangar ghat.
5. Be that perfect Bong woman and swear by your Laal paar goroder sari, but in case he asks you to be dressed in a Sari for a particular occasion, show him your liberated bong woman image and call him a MCP. Well! don’t hesitate to wear your lovely tussar sari though 😛
6. Hate his mother. Just hate her and drill it into his head that the feeling is mutual.but then again never think twice to go on those shopping trips with her when of course! she is paying the bill.
7. Feed him. Baby feed him. Prod on him. do it the every other way, until and unless he feels fed up! :-O
8. Make every possible effort to turn him in to a hen pecked one. But show on the face of it that you want the perfect combination of salman’s body, shahrukh’s grace and Amitabh’s baritone. By the time, he understands the nuances of the confusion , he will be more than eager to run away. Oh! btw, find time to tell him that he is your Amit Ray. In case he haven’t heard about him..CRib, crIB and more CRIB about it. But find time for it ok! I missed this step 😦
9. Ask him about all his embarrassing secrets. But you know you are more than eager to share yours. In case he talks about an old crush, show grace and patience to hide that you are turning green with envy. Expect him to ‘understand’, which men by default won’t. So be rest assured.
10. Last but not the least- Sing for him. Croon and Voila! he is gone. Well it might just be your rendition of Tagore’s “Kotobaro bhebechinu apona bhulia…”
By the way, don’t really try all this if you have found your perfect soulmate (they are rare to find anyways) 🙂